Gateshead has the Angel of the North. Ebbsfleet is planning a gigantic white horse, or perhaps elephant - I can't remember which. Newhaven and Seaford are getting an almighty incinerator, which will burn lorry loads of old crap and sit on a flood plain.
You have to admire the chutzpah of the officials behind the plan, and their determination to fly in the face of every environmental cause they can find. Pollution, extra traffic, proximity to a river ... these guys are out to piss off as many people as they can. I'm expecting a press release any day now, detailing plans to supplement the garbage Veolia will be burning with chunks of virgin rainforest flown in on 747s, or perhaps they'll go for live gorillas as fuel.
Finding anyone in favour of the incinerator was more difficult than tracking down French holidaymakers in Newhaven high street. Even hardened thickos - people who have England flags instead of curtains - could see it was a stupid idea. They'll never build this thing, we all thought. Somebody, at some point in the process, will listen to reason. But they didn't, and they are, and they've started - even though there's currently a judicial review into the legality of the planning permission. Anyone who still thinks democracy means anything in East Sussex should go and check out the bulldozers clearing the land at North Quay.
The fact is, the incinerator is coming. But great news! It may be a toxin-belching eyesore, degrading the quality of life of anyone unfortunate enough to be down-wind of the thing, but it has major tourism benefits for the area. That's right - according to Hastings county councillor Godfrey Daniel, people will arrive in buses to tour the facilities and marvel at the technology. Perhaps they will be able to buy souvenir inhalers at the gift shop.
Well I say let's give credit where credit is due. I have already written to Councillor Daniel, and I think I spoke on behalf of the entire community when I invited him and his fellow planners to attend the grand unveiling of the incinerator on the day it begins its glorious work. I think a plaque should be installed, listing the names of those few courageous souls who backed the project. That's what I told him and to his credit he said he'd be happy to come along.
But this is unambitious, small-town thinking! What's really required is something altogether more grand and imposing. I think I have the solution. Standing proud and 100 metres tall on the harbour arm should be a statue to Councillor Daniel, our very own Liberty or Angel, reminding all ferry passengers who arrive in Newhaven who is responsible for that peculiar smell. And of course all those "for sale" boards outside the grimy houses.
1 comment:
To be fair the Lib Dems opposed this for 10 years and the Tories (and Labour politicians in Hastings and Brighton) pushed it through. The building work has started now, but of course it won't actually have any smoke coming out of the top of it as pictured.
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